The Quite Large Noise in The Sky - a Report
Many people will have realised that the considerable noise coming from the sky is something of a troublesome issue. While we investigate the matter, rest assured we are working hard to ensure all the necessary paperwork describing the phenomenon has been raised.
Be advised that the noise is none of the following (as confirmed by the Meteorological Office):
- A thunderstorm
- A tornado building up
- An alien space ship
- God farting
While it remains uncertain regarding item three in that list, the others are clearly ridiculous and anyone found to be peddling such ideas will be issued with a Form 124H notice.
Item four on the list is blasphemous (some will say) - it was included because those of us on the C.H.O.R.O.S.N. (Committee for the Harmonised Observation & Reduction of Ominous Sky-Noise) thought it was rather amusing.
Now, the mandate of the committee is to make it clear that if the sky insists on making that noise, it could at least file the proper forms.
Finally, the large crater caused by a quite large noise over the market town of Middle Stink was not caused by aliens. Contrary to popular belief. The committee have established that the saucer-shaped craft was merely an optical illusion caused by the council's recently installed, low-energy street lamps reflecting off a low-flying, highly unapproved regional pigeon.
The committee website has a form (Form 1686868 RPT-10) for anyone experiencing any further anomalies regarding the noise in the sky.
Please allow 42 hours before expecting a response.