The Cereal Poet
Upon this box, a sonnet bold and bright, In breakfast mode, where crunch and munch collide, A poet’s...
I’m Andy — I write short stories, poems, skits, and surreal ramblings about life’s strange corners. It’s creative, chaotic, and occasionally useful. All words written by me. All malfunctions entirely intentional.
Bert and George and the BBQ
Bert didn’t like barbecues. He didn’t like mingling. He didn’t like paper plates. He didn’t like the way sausages always...
Hacking Haikus
I'll be honest, I do like messing with proper poetic form. In some cases, I'll mangle it completely. And in...
Sync This
I use Scrivener and DropBox. Which is the same thing as saying: I like hitting myself in the head with...
The Case Of The Slighted Sausage
CAST: NARRATOR (Grams) HENRY CRUN (Chip Shop Proprietor) MINNIE BANNISTER (His Assistant) ECCLES (Customer) FISH (A very posh fish) PIE...
Putting On The Posh
Posh Pants I thought a sonnet needs a bit of work, Something to make it feel a bit less stuffy, ...
Why Writing Normal-ish Now and Then Keeps the Creative Kettle Boiling
Let’s be honest, dear reader: if you spend all your days writing about purple elephants in bowler hats and penguins...
Underwear United
There was this pair of knackered socks, They had seen better days, And they were due for a...
Writers Sock
[Scene: A desk. A writer. Too much caffeine. Not enough logic.] ⸻ SCENE: A WRITER’S ROOM. The wall glares. The...
Writing How You Speak
Hello dear reader. Welcome to my shed. It’s not a shed in the real sense. But I like to imagine...
George Speaks, and All is Not Lost
Arnold Figgins, an unremarkable writer with remarkable procrastination skills, sat hunched over his desk, staring at the blank page before...
The Day the Brain Took Off Its Tie
[Scene: A cluttered writing desk. A man. A mug. A murmuring mind.] SCENE: ANDY’S STUDY. A mug of tea steams...
The Ballad Of Connie's Garden Crisis
Connie was dying for a piss, But the vicar was there, It was a day of summer bliss,...
The Day I Tried To Write Seriously (And Failed Spectacularly)
Or: How I Accidentally Wrote a Haiku About Cheese It started with good intentions. Which is how most of my...
Let It Flow (Even If It Leaks a Bit)
Welcome to Writerings — a collection of thoughts about writing, creativity, and why your brain sometimes makes a chicken noise...
© 2025 Andy Hawthorne. Sometimes nonsense is the only thing that makes any sense.