Andy Hawthorne

I’ve decided to start a new blog. An interesting concept when you think about it.

Because the “starting” element makes it sound like my blog is an old petrol-powered lawnmower. I have to yank on the starting cable a couple of hundred times before it coughs and wake up.

Well, you can think of this as a cough, a puff of smoke and a grumbling engine noise that sounds like ferrets chewing their way out baked bean cans.

This blog is powered by a questionable dependency on coffee. I drink it by the gallon. Not because it turns me into a dynamic, over-caffeinated penguin. But because it keeps me awake long enough to write something. Like that old mower, gulping through a can of two-stroke.

Trouble is, my blogower (eh?) gets jammed up with mental clutter like that old mower gets jammed up with damp grass. My mind churns out ideas and my blog comes along with its rusty blades and does its best. But all that enthusiastically energetic grass grinds the process to a holt.

I said to my wife, this blog, I said, it’s like that old petrol mower in the garage. Capable but ready for a nap after a few runs along the lawn. Is that because you are old and grumpy? Was her reply. I mean the shock of that comment. Except it wasn’t really a shock. I had to admit, both me and the mower have seen better days.

So, readers. The old petrol mower has had more services than a car that’s been around the clock. But, fanfare please, it still cuts the grass. And likewise, my blog might feel like a war of prose versus me being arsed to write. But I do write. And the blog rides again (or mows again, if you like). So over and out for now, your grumpy and now tired blogger.

See you next time.