At The Chemists

Me and Mary are at the age where we have repeat prescriptions. We get on the NHS app. Choose the medications we need. Place the order. Couple of days later, off to the chemist to collect the meds.

We walked up there yesterday. Nice day, needed a break from the desk. The sun shined and the air smelled of summer.

Got into the Chemist and there was a queue. Not unusual, there’s plenty of people like us. Mary asked for our Meds. The Chemist got on it. He’s a nice fella. Knows us. We have a chat. How’s the family, all that.

The door chime pings. This lady comes in. Huffing and puffing. Stands at the counter and the story starts.

—I’ve just been released from hospital. Been in six days, I have. They didn’t give me a prescription for these.

—Ah hello, what do you need?

—Something for bloody piles. Don’t normally get ‘em. Got one in there, didn’t I?

Mary looked at me. I raised my eyebrows. The assistant moved to one side. Bless her. Trying to keep the conversation private. Didn’t work.

—I told ‘em, I did. Don’t get piles, normally. Blimey, it’s hot innit?

She fanned herself. Waving her arms around like a broken windmill.

—These will do the trick for you—

—Ah yeah, they said about them. Anusol. Yeah, that’s them.

Mary looked at me.

—Do you want to wait outside?

—No, this is golden.

The Daughter of the Chemist came over. Chatted to Mary. She’s at Uni.

—Ah, he’s a good dad, looking after you.

—He is, yes. I’m lucky.

—Yeah, he is a good dad. Looks after all of us. Right, I’m going for a cup of tea and to shove one of these buggers up—

—Ah, right, okay. Thank you!

The Chemist’s daughter cringed. Folded up and tried to climb under the counter. Another bloke standing by me stared at the hospital lady. She wasn’t finished.

—Just out of hospital, you know. Been in six days. Had me on a drip they did.

Nobody said anything. None of us knew who she was talking to.

The Chemist gave is our bag of meds. We thanked him. Said our goodbyes. Left the shop.

—What did you think about her then?

Mary looked at me. Gave me the deadly eye-roll.

We went home for a cup of tea as well. No Anusol required.