Avoiding The Shadows

I’m not afraid of the dark. Never have been. But there are shadows in my mind that are best avoided. Like you avoid a big puddle after it’s been raining. 

See, the thing is, those dark recesses, they have all manner of nonsense in them. The kind of things that leap out and yell BOO! When you are carrying a particularly full mug of tea. 

Or, they yell: “WATCH OUT! For no apparent reason. Which leaves you scanning the area for the next 10 minutes wondering what the hell is going on. 

Then, there are those ones where you think you re clever. You say: “I see you, and IM NOT going in there.” Only to find yourself in it already. And not able to get out. Unless you have a passcode.  The passcode being one of those long, impossible to remember ones. 

So, what can we do about these shadowy manifestations? 

Turn the bloody lights on, mate.

Seems like the crushingly obvious answer. I was at a work event the other day. A simple thing. No expectations. No pressure. Apart from to be sociable…

BE SOCIABLE???
ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH?????

That’s what was running through my mind. Like an Olympic sprinter. With an urgent need for the bathroom. 

Because the pressure to be sociable is, well, pressure. And frankly, I'm still trying to figure out why teacups have saucers.

So, here’s a trick. A cunning plan. 

I write. In my head. A poem, that works. I use all the little interactions and conversations, all the moments where I’m supposed to be normal, as material. Even when a pigeon stares at me like I owe him money.

I keep composing. A short story, a blog post. Anything. 

And it works. Because it is a fist in traction. Sorry, I meant a distraction. And that eases the pressure. It puts the lights back on. The shadows bugger off for a while. 

Right, I’ll leave it there. Good night if it’s night, good day if it’s not dark.