Episode 5 - The Takeover

—Alright, fellas? 

—Ah, ‘ere he is. Andy’s turned up, Bob. 

—I See that, Joe. What’s this then?

—It’s a blog, Bob. Andy’s givin’ us the keys.

—The keys? To a website? I can’t even find the ‘on’ button on the toaster half the time. What are we supposed to do with a blog?

—Talk, apparently. Just talk. And don’t make a mess of the place.

—Yep, that’s right, fellas. Chat away, I’ll transcribe and away we go. 

—Are yer gonna be joining’ us for each one, like? 

—Nope. No need, Bob. See that app U put on yer phone? 

—Yep?

—That’ll do the job. Remember to switch it on and it’ll do the rest. 

—Seems easy.

—It is, Joe, I promise. 

—Why would anyone wanna read what bollocks we talk about? 

—Ah, that’s sort of the point. 

–Eh?

—He means, Joe, that us talking bollocks is what makes it funny. And worth putting on the blog thing. 

—Hmm, right. “Ere, Bob. What’s with that notebook? 

—I wanna learn to write proper, like. 

—What for? 

—So I can write a book, like Andy does. 

—You write books d’yer Andy? 

—I do, mate, yeah. 

—What sort of books? 

—Novels. Set in the East End. 

—But yer a Coventry lad, right? 

—I am, yeah. Born and bred. 

—So why the East End?

—Sometimes it’s easier to develop stories when yer not worrying about where every bus stop, cafe or pub is. 

—Yeah, I get that. Good one, Andy. 

—Thanks, Bob. 

—So, let me get this right. We come ‘ere, chat shite and you put it on the blog thing? 

—Yep. Exactly that. 

—Blimey. Seems pointless. 

—Nah, it’ll work. 

—can I help with the writing?

—Of course, Bob. 

—Don’t let him near it, it’ll be shite. 

—Bollocks, Joe. 

—Right, fellas. Can I get yer another brew? 

—Thought you’d never ask.