Honestly Honest

I’m sitting quietly on a Sunday evening before the chaos of the working week. There’s something circling my mind. Like a hawk circling a field looking for prey. I have a profound respect for Linguistic accuracy but I often prefer to break it. And that is what I will write about this evening. 

I once drowned my structural care, grammatical accuracy, and what remained of my sense of humour in a very serious article. Phew, it was no fun at all. But that doesn’t mean I don’t how to do it. It means I prefer not to. The lines I write amuse one other reader doubts… 

It’s not always easy. My mood may be off-kilter. But funny stuff can still crop up. 

I remember stood washing the dishes one evening. Thinking about nothing much at all. I may have been thinking the Fairy Liquid suds were little fart bubbles. Something innocuous like that. Then, all of a sudden a thought flew across my mind like an aircraft streaming a banner.

The empire strikes a match.

That was it. Just that. I had no idea why, I hadn’t thought about galaxies far, far away or anything. But it did get me thinking…

CAPTAIN PIET:
Er, why has it gone dark?

DARTH VADAR:
I sense a problem in the force. Or, we haven’t paid the electricity bill.

CAPTAIN PIET:
I told Captain Needa to pay it the other day. 

DARTH VADAR:
Bring him to me…

Or something like that. But it gets worse. While that scene formed in my head, another character turned up. His name? A Phantom called Dennis. He was riding a speeder and throwing random thoughts around. Aha! So, now I know where the thought came from. 

But to get back to the point, for all the mysterious tales from a distant galaxy, the summoning of characters during a Galactic civil war, I still had to finish the dishes. 

I seem to have forgotten what the next point was. So talk amongst yourselves while I find it…

Ah, there it is. The point was hiding behind the sofa. Yes, some people may think this style of writing is outdated. Er, that’s because I’m outdated…

That’s an interesting word. ‘Outdated’. I sometimes think it means a calendar hanging out on the street, or in a back garden—

“Andy?”

“Er yes, Arthur?”

“Focus.” 

Ah, he has a point. I’d better get on and finish this article

(He fell asleep -Ed)