Andy Hawthorne Andy Hawthorne
May 29th, 2025

Limericks #2

Poems

There once was a bloke called Phillip,
Who’s mug emptied after he did fill it,
He threw it with a roar,
And it smashed on the floor,
So now he drinks out of a skillet.


There once was a toaster called Vern,
And all bread inserted he’d burn.
Until he tried sliced white,
Of which he had no fright —
Now Vern no longer has a turn.

There once was a kettle named Bob,
Who got fed up with the boiling job,
The water stayed too cool,
The teapot called him a fool,
And the mugs formed an angry mob.

There once was a frying pan, Sue,
Who was looking for something to do.
So she fried up a storm,
Kept the breakfast all warm —
While the teabags prepared their coup.

There once was a poet who broke,
Wrote of some kitchenware that spoke.
And ducks that would fart,
Blowing arse cheeks apart —
Try not to laugh ‘til you choke.

powered by scribbles