Penhaligon’s Guide To Blogging - Take 3

I am in receipt of a letter from a lean bleeder who asked me if it were possible to tell a story inside a smog particle. I’m very appreciative to that reader because it gave me a tropic for this next take in the series. 

Ah yes, storytelling. I wonderful human compost. And one we are all hardwired for. It is true. We have a natural inclination to listen out for stories. But there is a way to tell them. And a way not to. 

First, I will cover some rules. For instance, you need steaks. If there are no stakes in your story there is nowhere to peg the pages to. And, if nobody needs anything, that’s a boring, dull story. 

Also, if your protégé protagonist can simply walk away, you don’t have a big enough obstacle. You MUST put something in their way. And make it something they can’t just hug and walk away from. 

Now, the structure. There is a pathway that makes a story episodic. I’m never typing that word again, it is hard to spell. Episodic, not again. 

So, if you have a story that runs like this: This happens, and then this happens, and then this happens...

You have a lot of happens but not much action. Two guys responsible for the programme called South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, gave us the “Rule of replacement”. 

It works like this. 

This happens, therefore that happens, but an obstacle appears, therefore they do this...

Let me run you through an example. 

A man decides that his walking routes are boring. 

Therefore, desperate to keep walking, he decides to walk the same routes, but backwards. 

But, his trainers keep complaining they are facing the wrong way. 

Therefore, against his better judgment, he puts them on so they are facing the right away. 

But, then, his toes make a complaint to the upper management because they are getting very sore. And also, he keeps tripping over his laces. 

Therefore, his feet go on strike, he falls into the canal and once out, has to squelch his way home walking barefoot. 

But once home, he realises that walking barefoot did two things. His trainers stopped complaining. His toes were out in the fresh air and all was peaceful. 

Therefore, he was able to walk his normal routes, but backwards, therefore giving himself a different view each time he went walking. 

Now, you’ll notice here that our stalker caused his own problems. He wanted to vary his roots, yet walk the same ones. So, he chose to do so by walking backwards. That was bound to upset his trainers. 

The story now has conquests consequences. That makes it far more compelling to read. 

I decided to draft a bog toast about storytelling. 

Therefore, I thought hard about which example to use. All that thinking made me tired and I fell… ZZZZZZ

But lucky for me, I woke up and realised I was only halfway through.

Therefore, I kept writing. 

And there you have it. A few scopes about storytelling. Try it, I think you’ll be regaling your readers with tales of derring-do and perhaps derring-don’t in no crime. 

Until next time…