Andy Hawthorne Andy Hawthorne
May 16th, 2025

Putting On The Posh

Poems

Posh Pants
I thought a sonnet needs a bit of work, 
Something to make it feel a bit less stuffy, 
But this thought doesn’t have much of a perk, 
Unless I make it sound nice and fluffy, 
So here’s a sonnet about some posh pants, 
The ones you wear when going somewhere posh, 
Not a place where there’s singing and rants, 
A place where you have very pleasant nosh, 
Oh, and I am talking about underpants, 
Not those trousers with creases down the leg, 
Not those you wear just for the lols and bantz, 
The ones when washed, you hang out on a peg, 
Aha! Posh pants, the ones that don’t cause a farce, 
Or end up disappearing up your arse. 



Posh Socks
was getting ready and needed socks,  
“Put on your good ones,” I heard my wife call,  
So, I got a pair from my posh socks box,  
Nice ones, that I don’t screw up in a ball  
And throw from a distance into the wash,  
Yes, socks that don’t have a single loose thread,  
Those socks so stylish they can play toe squash,  
And my wife doesn’t look at them with dread,  
And posh socks indeed, are worn with posh shoes,  
These are socks in fine form and with no holes,  
You should get a pair, there’s nothing to lose,  
These are socks so posh, you could play bowls,  
I like my old socks, they’re close to my heart,  
And never complain, even when I fart.

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