Reading Out Loud
Shorts
I wandered out into the garden with my latest blog post open on my phone screen.
I started reading it out loud.
“Shaddap will ya? You are keepin’ me an the missus awake!”
I looked around. Ah, a Magpie. I hadn’t spotted him, to be fair.
“Won’t be long mate, have a listen and tell me what you think, if you like!”
“Wot I fink is, you should shut the hell up!”
Hmm, bit grumpy. I carried on reading. But stopped. The Magpie was giving me serious side-eye.
“Look mate, I always read my blog posts out loud. To check they sound ok. Meaning they will read ok.”
“Yeah? And I care because?”
“Well, I know you don’t care. Why would you? But it’s a nice day so I thought I’d come out here.”
The Magpie puffed out his chest and looked like he was about to peck my eyes out.
“Well, you can bugger orf, then!! Rude, that was. Just because I’m a bird. You fink I don’t get what you are going on abart!”
Clearly, this bird wasn’t of the Coventry variety of Magpie.
I went back inside the house. I had a brainwave. Maybe the house plants wouldn’t mind me reading out loud. I was a bit worried about the fern. It looked intellectual.