Tales From The Bookshop — Young Mikey

Mikey was a nice young fella who spoke in a manner that you might describe as... direct.

—‘Ello mister, I’m Mikey, an’ I’m ten years old. 

—‘Ello there, young man. It’s very nice to meet you. What can I ‘elp yer with? Oh, and is yer mum or dad around? 

—Yeah, me mam’s next door. She said I’d be alrigh’ in here. 

—Indeed yer will be. So, what book yer lookin’ for? 

—I’m lookin’ fer a book about space, or some bollocks like that. 

I didn’t know what to do with that one. He was a pleasant young lad, but that was a… colourful way to put it. 

—Er, righ’, what about space in particular, Mikey? 

—About the solar system, innit?. 

—Aha! I can definitely help yer with that—

—None of that Patrick Moore shite, though. 

He got me again. I didn’t know whether I should say something. 

—Er, why? 

—Well, he was good an’ that, but didn’t always get things right, did he? 

—Ah, yes, there were questions— 

—Yeah, he said stuff that was bollocks. 

—Er… 

—Wha’? 

—HOw long will yer mam be? 

—Fuckin’ ages probably. 

I mean, what could I do? 

—Mikey? 

—Yeah? 

—You know yer shouldn’t swear, right? 

—Yeah, of course! 

—Right, good. Let me find those books for yer. 

—Yeah, I don’t swear me, mister. 

He followed me to the science section. Then into the space and solar system section. His eyes lit up. 

—Wow! Brill! Yer’ve got some great stuff ‘ere, mister! 

—Great, I’m glad yer like it. D’yer want me to help yer have a look? 

—Nah, is it alright if I look through a few? 

—Course it is, mate. You carry on. 

I walked back to the counter, reached under, and got my jar of lollies. I took it over to Mikey. 

—Yer a good lad, Mikey, so, fancy a sweet? Or should we wait fer yer mam to come? 

—Ah yeah, I’ll wait to see if me mam says it’s okay. 

—Good lad. 

I set the jar down and turned to go back, but Mikey stopped me. 

—I like the look of this one, mister. 

He was holding Space: Discover fascinating facts about our solar system (All About) by Collins Kids. 

—Ah yeah, that’d be a good ‘un for yer. D’yer know how much yer can spend? 

—Yeah, I got about a tenner. 

—Perfect. You can get that one then. 

A lady came into the store, looking a bit flustered. 

—Mikey is ‘ere, ain’t he? 

—Yep, I’ve got him lookin’ at the space books. 

—Ah, brill, thank you. 

—No problem. 

I took her down to Mikey. 

—Found one, Mam! And I can afford it. 

—That’s great, Mikey. 

—Mister? Can I ‘ave a sweet now? One of them lollies? 

I looked at his mam. 

—Yeah, go on then, she said. 

—Not a sherbet one — they taste like shit. 

—Mikey! 

She looked at me, blushing a bit. 

—He takes after his dad, she said.