Andy Hawthorne Andy Hawthorne - Comedy Writer
August 26th, 2026

The Arrival - a Downloadable Short Story

There are times when I write for a little longer than your standard column. And there are other times when I don't write on a column at all. I feel like sitting down at a desk, like normal writers. And when I do, I get odd little stories cropping up. Like this one. Feel free to download and enjoy.

The Arrival
Tobias Trench prefers a quiet, orderly life: crisp cargo shorts, his beloved Dewey Decimal System at the local library, and an absolute minimum of fuss. But his dull Tuesday in Shingle Cove is derailed when an interstellar AI named PLOD takes up residence in his iPhone to announce an imminent galactic arrival.

The mothership, The Lost Cause, is on an urgent refuelling mission to siphon off Earth’s seawater. Between a looming planetary environmental crisis, overzealous parking wardens issuing tickets to alien craft, and pompous local councillors getting in the way, it falls to Tobias and his fiercely clever colleague Cassie to talk some basic planetary common sense into a pair of super-intelligent machines.

A sharp, warm-hearted sci-fi comedy about pan-galactic bureaucracy, small-town absurdity, and the profound convenience of a well-aimed robotic boxing glove.

Download here.

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Andy Hawthorne - Comedy Writer

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