The Day I Was Nearly Eaten By A Confused Shark

It was either a shark or a dolphin. I’m going with a shark…

I went swimming off Ryde. Because the tide was in, the water was warm(ish), and I thought I looked quite good in my swimming shorts. I was wrong about the shorts, of course, but that’s not the point.

Roughly twelve flaps from shore, I noticed a ripple.

A sleek, grey shape approached.

It was definitely a thing. And it was definitely approaching me, which, in the wild, is rarely a great sign unless you’re holding a sandwich.

I prepared myself. For a dolphin. Or maybe a shark. For a Portsmouth scuba diver in a wetsuit. I wasn’t sure.

It glided closer. Then turned away. Just like that.

No apology.
No autograph.
No nibble.

I floated there like a surprised crouton, watching it swim off toward the mainland. Probably had a lunch booking.

Later, I googled “solent shark attacks” and was reassured to find they are about as common as polite seagulls.

Still, I feel I bonded with it. We shared a moment. One of mild mutual disappointment.

(Note: I’ve since been told it was most likely a dolphin. They are increasingly common in The Solent off Ryde.)