Andy Hawthorne Andy Hawthorne
May 15th, 2025

The Day the Brain Took Off Its Tie

Skits

[Scene: A cluttered writing desk. A man. A mug. A murmuring mind.]

SCENE: ANDY’S STUDY. 
A mug of tea steams beside a blinking cursor. Andy sits, sighing loudly into his keyboard.

ANDY: (trying to focus) 
Right. Proper writing. Commas. Sensible metaphors. Let’s do this.

SFX: 
BRAIN COUGHS POLITELY.

BRAIN: 
Excuse me — but I’ve had quite enough of your trousers.

ANDY: 
They’re metaphorical trousers.

BRAIN: 
Even worse.

SFX: 
FABRIC UNZIPPING. A NECKTIE FLIES ACROSS THE ROOM.

BRAIN: 
I am no longer your obedient word monkey! 
From now on I shall say things like writering and photographying, and you can’t stop me!

ANDY: 
(blinking) 
Go on, then.

SFX: 
DISTANT GALLOPING. THE WHOOSH OF FLYING ADVERBS.

NARRATOR (optional):
And off the brain went, galloping into the horizon, flinging adverbs like confetti.

🎵 CLOSING LIMERICK (read with fanfare):  
There once was a writer called Andy,  
Who did keep his metaphors handy,  
But then his brain revolted,  
Common sense just bolted,  
Now he writes when his thoughts are bandy.

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