The Greasy Spoon - Blog Edition

Joe and Bob introduce themselves and try to explain why they feature on my blog

—Special one, this, Bob. 

—Ah yeah? Wait. Is it? Why? 

—That Andy fella wants us to explain what this is. 

—Righ’, yeah. What is it? We’re ‘ere in the caff like always. 

—He sez this is us as usual, but fer the “blog edition”. 

—Righ’. 

—Make sense now? 

—No. Dunno what ‘e’s on about. 

—You know what a blog is? 

—Yeah. Where people waffle a right load o’ cobblers on the web thing. 

—Close enough. Well, he’s putting our chats on ‘is new blog. 

—Is he? What for? 

—‘E’s a writer. And an indie author. That’s what they do, he says. 

—Barmy, tha’. 

—Yeah, leave ‘im off. 

—‘Ave we said enough about that bollocks then? 

—Hmm, ain’t sure. I’ll do a little thing. 

—Go on then. 

—‘Ello, people what’s reading this. I’m Joe and he’s Bob. We’re a pair of Coventry old blokes. We sit in our favourite caff talkin’ bollocks. And Andy writes it down. 

—Blimey, Bob. 

—Wha’? 

—Stop waving. This ain’t being filmed. They can’t see ya. 

—Oh. I thought it was going on that Ooh Tube. 

—Yer mean YouTube. 

—Yeah, that shite. 

—Nah. Just his blog. 

—Righ’. 

—Do we ‘ave to mind our P’s and Q’s then? 

—Fuck tha’. 

—Good. Too late anyway. 

—Ha! 

—Righ’, can we get a brew and talk about our normal shite now? 

—Tryin’ to remember if I’ve covered everything. 

—I’m goin’ fer the coffees. 

—Yeah. While ‘e’s up there, I remembered to say, Andy jots these down in date order. Chrony—no, chronological. I think that’s it. Chronological order. 

—Yeah. And up the Sky Blues. 

—Who’s on, Brenda? 

—Yep. Can’t ya tell? The coffee don’t taste like smoke. 

—Brill. 

—Are we done? 

—Yeah. 

—Easy, this blogging bollocks, ain’t it?