The Shed - Blogging Formulas

—So, Arthur, blogging mate, let’s talk about that. 

—Why? 

—Er, because it’s what we do? Talk about writing.

—Right, aye, happen we do. But people make too much of it. 

—You think? 

—I know, lad. 

—I like the AIDA formula. 

—As in ‘fuckin’ ada’? 

—No! Keep it clean, mate! I mean A.I.D.A 

—That sounds like proper bollocks to me. 

—Shall I go through it? 

—If yer must, aye. 

—Right, A is for attention. So you start by grabbing the reader with something that hooks them in—

—We did that. 

—Did we? 

—Aye, lad. Were yer not payin’ attention? The “fuckin’ ada” bit.

—Ah, I s’pose that counts. 

—Now then, does the’I’ involve you gettin’ the kettle on?

—Right, no, but I’ll do it. 

—Good lad. 

—So, ‘I’ is for interest. We did that as well. Because there’s me trying to explain AIDA and you likely thinking it’s bollocks. 

—I didn’t say—

—No, but you’re skeptical, right? 

—Ah. Crack on, is that kettle on the go-slow or what? 

—Right, ‘D’ is for desire. I updated my blog to be us chatting because it’s a low friction way for me to create content. Something a lot of other bloggers will want to achieve. 

—Aye, reet. 

—Not convinced?

—No, but go on, well, the kettle boiled, so make the brew first, before I freeze. 

…

—The ‘A’ mate, the key one. ‘A’ is for action. Where I ask readers to come back soon for more. And subscribe to my Substack. 

—Is that it, then, like? 

—Yep, works every time. 

—Well, that’s nice. Unlike this fuckin’ brew. It tastes like smoke. 

—Er, does it? Mine is okay. 

—Yer need to leave the tea bag in, let it steep. 

—Okay, yeah. But Arthur mate, what’s your technique? 

—The pyramid. Always the pyramid. 

—Right, explain? 

—Important bits first. Cascading down to the shite at the end. The reason? So editors can shorten the story from the bottom with losing the gist of it. 

—Right…

—Yeah? 

—How does that work for a blog post? 

—I explained it a minute ago. Yer got cotton wool in yer ears? 

—Yeah, but we need detail—

—Fer fuck’s sake. Right. Yer know about the five ‘w’s and H right? 

—Er, yeah. Who, what, when, where, why and then how. 

—Spot on. All in the first par. 

—Right, anything else?

—Yeah. Short and sharp. No long waffling bullshit. And short pars. None of the literary shite. 

—Oh and while you get the kettle back on the boil, remember this. Facts. Be an objective reporter who avoids “editorialising” or loads of adjectives. 

—Ah, now, that sounds like useful advice, mate. 

—Here’s some more. Leave the tea bag in for at least three minutes.

Come back for more and my Substack is here.