Andy Hawthorne Andy Hawthorne
June 5th, 2025

The Troll on the Trail

Life

Somewhere between Newport and Sandown, soaked to the skin and starting to squelch due to the persistent rain, I found myself on a footbridge. 

Naturally, this seemed like the perfect moment to pretend to be a bridge troll. I mean, why wouldn’t you? Perfectly normal behaviour… 

Just as I adopted the classic crouch and prepared to yell something cryptic about passage fees and riddles, two cyclists rounded the bend. I panicked and shouted the first thing that came to mind:

“Bit damp today, isn’t it?”

“Erm, yeah. Sort of. A bit,” one replied, with the wary tone of someone encountering a woodland spirit they didn’t want to offend.

They cycled off quickly, giving me a wide berth. Possibly to avoid my weather-based curses. Possibly just because I looked like a lunatic.

Either way, I remain the unofficial (and soggy) troll of the trail.

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