Andy Hawthorne Andy Hawthorne
May 15th, 2025

Writers Sock

Skits

[Scene: A desk. A writer. Too much caffeine. Not enough logic.]

SCENE: A WRITER’S ROOM. 
The wall glares. The writer glares back. The tension is beige.

ANDY:
(staring at wall, muttering) 
Nothing’s landing. Ideas circling like a flock of sea bulls…

LAPTOP:
Stuck, are we?

SFX:
BASS GUITAR RIFF. COFFEE MUG VIBRATES.

COFFEE MUG:
(aggressively mellow) 
Yeah, I know what you mean…

NARRATOR (optional):
The mug is wearing a Cannibal Corpse T-shirt and tuning a bass guitar.

ANDY:
I am a bit.

SFX: 
GENTLE SPOON WHITTLING.

NARRATOR:
The laptop is carving wood with a teaspoon.

SFX:
KETTLE WHISTLES. MIC CHECK.

KETTLE:
Testing, one-two. One-twoooo…

SFX: 
LOUD THUD. DICTIONARY SITS UP.

DICTIONARY:
(exasperated) 
For bloody hell’s sake! There’s all this mad stuff going on around you, and you can’t think of something to write?

SFX:
PERPLONK. FOLLOWED BY FERLUD.

ANDY: 
(firmly) 
Right.

SFX: 
KEYBOARD CLACK.

ANDY: 
(Typing)  
Lost For Words: A Tale of Writer’s Sock.

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