A man walks into a bar. He yelled: OUCH!!!!
The bartender said: “That’s a really old joke!”
“I didn’t tell a joke.”
“Fine, what can I get you?”
“A scotch egg and a glass of water please.”
“We don’t do food.”
Then what’s that?” The man pointed at a sandwich behind the bar.
“That’s Kevin. He works here.”
The man stared.
“Right, I’ll have what Kevin’s having.”
“Kevin’s having an existential crisis,” replied the bartender. “Will that be neat or on the rocks?”
The man considered this carefully. “Rocks, he said. “The neat ones always make me cry.”
Kevin nodded.