Aha! Time to refill the coffee caddy.
There was a thin layer of that fine powder known as Nescafé Azera on the base.
I grabbed the fresh can of Azera — and jumped out of my skin.
“Oi! Mate, none of that granules shit, yeah?”
I looked around. The coffee caddy was glaring at me.
“Erm, I was getting the Azera. That alright?”
“Yes! Bung that in me. But granules? Nah.”
Intriguing.
“Erm, why? As a matter of interest?”
“Simple. Imagine I lobotomised you and poured those granules in your head?”
“Blimey. Yeah. See what you mean.”
“Also, it’s about the smell.”
“Of coffee?”
“Doh! Yeah. Azera’s got a pleasant tang of beans. Granules smell like what got swept off the factory floor.”
“But how do you know? You’re a coffee caddy.”
“Pfft! What? You think we can’t smell? Just stand here with coffee in, waiting for you to dip your bloody spoon in?”
“Erm, right. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Then sent an email to the Bespoke Enclosures for Valuable Essences, Reserves, And Grain Enclosures (B.E.V.E.R.A.G.E.), letting them know I understood their plight.
Two hours later, the sugar jar filed a grievance. Something about “preferential treatment for caffeinated beverages.”