Andy Hawthorne Andy Hawthorne - Comedy Writer

Haiku

Me, writing nonsensical haikus.

I am a blogger
Cold winter or warm summer
Nonsense all year round.


Er... I'm a blogger
I blog in the sun or rain
This haiku is shite.


Can't think of a start
Er, as autumn approaches
Something... this is crap.


The breeze sways the grass
While warm air touches my skin
But my brew went cold. 


The silence of night
On a late summer evening
Two drunks singing loud.


To write a haiku
There's a season and a cut
And more skill than me.


A man wore a hat 
Because the sun burned brightly 
He was Jack the Hat. 


A duck ate my sock 
During a summer shower 
The rain shrunk the duck.


I wrote this haiku
On a summer afternoon
With jam and a spoon.


My pen has run dry 
Like the parched grass of my lawn 
That’s it; there’s nowt else.


The kettle grew legs
On a scorching August noon
Ran off down the street.


The hour is late
Though dark now, the air is warm
I’ll sleep in the fridge.


Clack! Boing! “Bugger it!” 
Unusual summer sounds
Grr! I Dropped my pen. 


Bloggers write with bite
Poets write about the light 
This haiku is shite.


My stomach churns loud
Like the summer storm above
There’s a fart brewing. 


I am no poet
So the rain is just the rain 
Nothing to see here. 


Andy Hawthorne - Comedy Writer

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