There have been numerous reports that the summer sky over England seems to have been spray-painted a particularly unpleasant grey colour.
While the perpetrators are being sought, this report outlines the things the grey mess over us all definitely isn’t down to.
First, social Media is alive with frankly ridiculous reports that the grey blanket is in fact, a large weather system that simply refuses to move on. It is a widely-known meteorological fact that overcast Skys in an English summer are a matter of Universal fact. And have been for many years.
Second, there are reports of people shaking their fists at the sky and yelling:
Where’s the bloody sun?
A futile exercise in fist-shaking. Neither the sky nor the sun are much inclined to respond to threats of that nature. Also, such fist-shaking at weather-based anomalies requires Form 1024-B to be completed and filed on Tuesdays only, with the Meteorological Aggravation Department (M.A.D).
Third, there are an alarming number of reports that people in public places, such as public transportation hubs, public houses and cafes, are making comments of an almost identical nature. Here is one such example:
The weather is shit today, ain’t it?
This is clearly not helping either the people around you or the weather, develop the confidence to allow the sun a brief appearance from behind the grey blanket. Once again, any such comments require Form 1024-C and should be filed with MAD. Due to a high influx of such filings, do not expect a personal response.
This report ends with a comment from chief Meteorologist Mr Greyson Weatherall:
At least it’s not cold.
Report ends.