Meet Joe and Bob, a pair of Coventry lads who treat this caff like their second living room.
—Special one, this, Bob.
—Ah yeah. Wait. Is it? Why?
—That Andy fella wants us to explain what this is.
—Righ’, yeah. What is it? We’re ‘ere in the caff like always.
—He sez this is us as usual, but fer the “blog edition”.
—Righ’.
—Make sense now?
—No. Dunno what ‘e’s on about.
—You know what a blog is?
—Yeah. Where people waffle a right load o’ cobblers on the web thing.
—Close enough. Well, ‘e’s puttin’ our chats on ‘is new blog.
—Is he? What for?
—‘E’s a writer. And an indie author. That’s what they do, he sez.
—Barmy, tha’.
—Yeah, leave ‘im off.
—‘Ave we said enough about that bollocks then?
—Hmm, ain’t sure. I’ll do a little thing.
—Go on then.
—‘Ello, people what’s readin’ this. I’m Joe and ‘e’s Bob. We’re a pair of Coventry old blokes. We sit in our favourite caff talkin’ bollocks. And Andy writes it down.
—Blimey, Bob.
—Wha’?
—Stop wavin’. This ain’t bein’ filmed. They can’t see ya.
—Oh. I thought it was goin’ on that Ooh Tube.
—Yer mean YouTube.
—Yeah, that shite.
—Nah. Just ‘is blog.
—Righ’.
—Do we ‘ave to mind our P’s and Q’s then?
—Fuck tha’.
—Good. Too late anyway.
—Ha!
—Righ’, can we get a brew and talk about our normal shite now?
—Tryin’ to remember if I’ve covered everythin’.
—I’m goin’ fer the coffees.
—Yeah. While ‘e’s up there, I remembered to say, Andy jots these down in date order. Chrony—no, chronological. I think that’s it. Chronological order.
—Yeah. And up the Sky Blues.
—Who’s on, Brenda?
—Yep. Can’t ya tell? The coffee don’t taste like smoke.
—Brill.
—Are we done?
—Yeah.
—Easy, this bloggin’ bollocks, ain’t it?