The Blogging Stream

It’s Saturday evening and I’m blogging. Not the medical condition called blogging. Where you get big goggly eyes and a fixed facial expression that looks like you may have released a blast of wind.

A mate of mine did that on a train a while back. It was a busy train. And the fart? It had a mind of its own. No way was it staying in.

He clenched. He strained. But no. So, in pure desperation, He let it go.

PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTT!!!

Everyone looked at him in horror. So he made his eyes go all goggly. And then, in a robotic voice he said:

—I’m from the planet Zorg. That was a nanite emission to clear my circuits.

This young lad piped up:

—I like your planet mister. I always get told off when I fart in public.

While I sit here, wondering what to write, a glance at my screen shows me…

I’m already writing!

How does that happen? I thought I was thinking. Preparing, like a proper writer does. But instead, my brain was saying:

—Screw waiting for him, let’s go!

—Yeah, I’m on it! Said my mind.

And the two of them conspired to write whatever the hell this is.

So, I’ll try and get to the point. Ouch, the bugger is sharp.

What I’m actually doing is writing from a stream of consciousness. I do that a lot. In fact, I think it is the only way I can write.

(It is, his brain.)

But, you know what? It’s okay. Because it is raw, of course. But also, and I have a feeling this is important, it makes it natural. I don’t mean like that yoghurt with lumps in it. More like: not overworked.

See, I don’t want to write anything that feels overworked. Or contrived. Trives DO NOT like being conned, I learned that a while back (eh?).

BRAIN:
What’s he on about?

MIND:
No idea, we’ll fix it when he stops waffling.

BRAIN:
Tell him to get to the point.

MIND:
ANDY!!! OI! YES YOU! Make your POINT!!!

MIND:
I told him.

BRAIN:
Nice one.

Alright, blimey. Moody, or what?

My point is simple. Letting the words out is not a bad thing. In fact, the more you let it be a natural process, the better.

(Impressive, that nearly made sense.)

But seriously, try it. Sit down, open your favourite editor or notebook and just write.

It might be complete bollocks. But that is fine. Keep going, the good stuff is lurking there.

Keep going, it will appear.

Right, this stream is drying up. Catch you in the next one.No fish were harmed in the writing of this post.